Text: 2 Tim 3:15
Does having a Christian name make a child godly? That a child is called Emmanuel or Esther does not mean the child is godly or will be godly. 2Tim3:15 – the word of God says and that from a child…
We should not wait for a child to get to 10 years before we start to train that child. From a child, we start to inculcate the word of God into them even from infancy. Children are the greatest observers in the world. They know when the parents are happy or sad. At every point in time, we should teach them the word of God. The person that brings up a child has a great influence on the life of that child. Where the child grows up also has a lot to do with the life of that child. The children are growing up in another generation and they are moving at a higher speed than ours.
Discipline or Domestication?
There is a difference between discipline and domestication. Domestication is when we order children and command them around. Such children become restless when they are outside the home. A disciplined person is orderly and has a supportive environment. When you support only a positive result from children, then you are domesticating them. Do not shout at your children when they come with a bad academic report from school. Instead, ask them how you can help them. Get them a lesson teacher if necessary. A disciplined person allows the child to bounce back. A domesticated environment breaks a child and widens the gap between parents and children until the parents are completely out of the lives of their children.
You must study the word of God and pray with your children at an early age so that it is formed in them and becomes a part of them. Do not allow the children to grow before you train them. It will be like trying to bend a dry fish.
A parent is not just a father or a mother. It is someone specially chosen by God to guide and nurture your chosen heritage. That you are an engineer does not mean your child will end up as an engineer.
We have to keep our children busy in a positive way – let them read and learn. Our child should be a better version of us. What God said in Gen 18:19 about Abraham, can God say that about us?
The easiest way for parents to teach children is by example. Avoid abusing them emotionally. Do not correct them openly. Do not shout at them, they are humans too. They will talk and ask questions but do not see it as disrespectful. If you fail to give them the attention and answers, other people and the internet will give them the answers and maybe in a negative way.
The children must be taught sex education from their infant years. Teach them the correct names of their private parts. Allow the children to express themselves and do not lock them inside their minds. Let them be free to speak and allow them to experience some adventures while you guide them for example in a playground, allow them to climb freely.
We must not take the boys as kings while the girl child is allowed to do all the domestic work. We must train the boy child like the girl child. We must not use our convenience to train the child. We must make every sacrifice to make that child who God wants him/her to be. We are seed owners and our children are the seeds. If we sow them in the fertile soil, they will bring forth great fruits. We must put our eyes on the children especially the girl child because she can break easily if not guided properly.
We need to pull the weeds out of the wheat and do that with extra caution not to pull along the wheat. The weeds are the bad characters in the child. You must show unconditional love even when the child does what is not proper. Let there be communication and bonding with your children. Fathers, learn to tell your daughter that she is beautiful and that you love her. When she hears that from any boy outside, it will not appear new to her because she has been told countless times by her Father that she is beautiful. Give the children attention, groom them and pray for them.
How do you train the child to have self-confidence?
Tell them regularly that you love them, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and they are royalties. Tell them that they are God’s heritage, they are nation movers. Constantly remind the child who he/she is. A royal priesthood, a prince and a princess. Have a vision for the children. In the place of prayers, we must declare what we want concerning our children. We must not joke with prayers for our children.
Have a structure in place in a family. Take time out with your children. Go outside for some recreation and discuss with the children in a different environment and setting. How can you inspire your children not to drink or smoke when you do the same as a father? How do we ask the children to pray when we do not pray ourselves?
Stages in the life of a child
Age 0-3: Do everything within your power to observe that child, be available and do not hand the child over to another person at that age. Let that child be the responsibility of the parent at that age.
Age 4-6: Model the life of the child and shape it.
Age 7-9: Become their instructor and instruct them and be firm with them
Age 10-11: Move between instructor and friendship. Be friends with them as you instruct them to help them build confidence in you. Do not be rigid or judgemental but be open to them if not, they will close the door against their parents at this age up to age 13.
Watch out for behavioural changes. When a child is acting strange or refuses to go to certain places or see certain persons, sit the child down and ask him/her why. Do not force the child to comply in such situations rather try to investigate the reason for the refusal. A girl was crying when her Mum asked her to go to her uncle’s place. I asked the girl why she was crying and the girl said the uncle touched her. May God help us and give us the godly wisdom we need as parents to raise our children in a godly way in Jesus’ name – Amen.
God bless you.